Sea of sighs

Sorry the blog has been silent. It has been down for repairs.

Well, not really, of course, but I need some repairs myself. Here's what's been happening.

Let's begin with the other day when I started lagging behind a friend as we were taking a walk. She turned around, looked at my expression and asked, "What's wrong?"

Turns out that without realizing it,  I had puffed out my cheeks like a blowfish. Katie catches me making this face, makes it back at me and makes me laugh. My mother used to do it too. Perhaps it is genetic. It is a silent sigh, a sigh of not feeling quite up to it.

It's partly because I'm still recovering from last week's bad infection, but also due to a litany of other ailments that almost sound ridiculous when recited one after the other: My teeth are falling out, my tongue is burning, my lips are cracked and blistery…oy!

Honestly, though, these issues are making it difficult to finish any meal. I went to the doctor today for a follow-up to my hospitalization and saw that I had lost a few pounds. Today I bought a salad that I really wanted to eat but then set it aside in favor of soup so that my dining companion would not have to sit for two hours and watch me try to chew lettuce. I brought it home to eat tonight, but the dressing burned my lips, so I made a smoothie instead and snacked on soft granola. The smoothie tasted good, and I'm sure it is good for me. I made it with yogurt, Lactaid milk, a scoop of protein, blueberries and frozen strawberries.

Trying to eat food that I cannot chew is at this point like my attempts to grow certain flowers in my shady garden. The perennials that I wanted need sun, but I kept planting them in the shade with bad results. A couple of years ago I gave in and switched to a shade garden and now all the plants are happy.

The problem with smoothies is not getting enough leafy green vegetables, but I draw the line at drinking a green smoothie.

On Thursday I have an appointment in Boston with my dermatologist, Dr. Lin. A few weeks ago the dermatologic surgeon gave me a steroid shot to hopefully calm my lip down. Since that didn't work, I hope Dr. Lin will prescribe the steroid cream which the surgeon said would be the next step. If I wore lipstick, I wouldn't have to put it on because my lips are bright red as is.

I'll try to be patient about getting all these things resolved.

Sigh.