Walking the way I walk

Someone was saying I walk funny: stiffly and almost like I am on shards and trying to hold myself together.

People mention this frequently, mostly out of concern as in "Are you all right?" but sometimes it sounds critical, which is probably just my thing, but it does occasionally come out in a tone that makes the question sound like, "What's the matter with you?"

I told Joe and he said let that person have leukemia three times (not to mention the coma, which I just did, thereby engaging in a pet peeve of mine by saying "not to mention" when I just mentioned it) and I am much better than I was a couple of years ago.

Someone who I briefly knew said I exercise too much and that he knew I was trying to keep my girlish figure, but still. Actually I am lucky to have my father's metabolism and so that although with age it is a little harder, my "girlish figure" (what a putdown) takes care of itself. This person said my gait was off. So it is. But did I ask?

I do the work like fitness classes because I have to do it to maintain my strength and the balance that I have, which is not the same as it was before cancer but not nearly as bad as shortly after my transplant when by all accounts I walked like a Gumby doll and people were afraid that I would fall over, which I frequently did.

 Maybe some day I will like these classes, but at this point they are a chore, although the Pilates class  at the Hampshire Regional YMCA is just perfect, and I wish that it was offered more frequently, and also the yoga class the Justine teaches at Serenity Yoga is wonderful too, and she always makes sure that I get a wall.

Did I say that the other day I squatted to get a pot out of the low cabinet and toppled over onto the tiled kitchen floor? Did I say that I lost my balance in my bathroom and scraped my arm? Did I say that even with the Neurontin, the neuropathy from chemotherapy causes me to never totally feel my feet on the ground?

I hate to think of what I would be like without all the exercising I do.

When I first got back to tennis (again), I was not so great due to these problems and also the weakness in my quads from prednisone and my lower red blood cell count.

But now that is normal and my endurance is good.  Now when I am on a tennis court, the tentativeness goes away, and after we play for our allotted time I could just keep going.

It is like someone with a stutter who sings, and that stutter goes away.

If only I could carry a tennis court around with me...