Home for Mother's Day

I'm standing in between Katie and Joe, who is next to

 Ben in this photo taken in our yard on Mother's Day.

I got tanked up with blood and platelets Friday and then Joe picked me up and drove me to South Hadley. It was a beautiful day, with the grass and trees and rolling hills showing off that light green of early spring. Katie was at a show with a friend, so it was just Joe and me. We sat on the couch together as Joe, the master of the clicker, went back and forth between the Red Sox, the Bruins and the Celtics games. Normally I would get annoyed, but I was happy to be at home, Joe switching channels on one side of me and the dog curled up asleep on my other side.

I had a trickle of visitors on Saturday, took a short walk and spent a lot of time on the couch. It was of course great to be home, but I wasn't (and still am not) feeling great. I am having trouble eating, and when I do eat, I often throw it up. When you're tired and not feeling well, it's harder to stay on the sunny side of the street. Patience does not come easy. And as good as it felt to get home, it was also a little surreal. After all, I haven't been there since late December, and I felt like I was plopped from one world into another, and then dropped back into the Boston world again. At least it's not the hospital, and as I've said before, they're treating me well here.

Yesterday, Mother's Day, was wonderful. Ben drove home, and the three of them presented me with very touching cards and great presents: a Red Sox hat, a pack of tennis balls and two books, "Strokes of Genius, Federer, Nadal and the Greatest Match Ever Played," and "We are our Mothers' Daughters," by Cokie Roberts.

I loved being with the three of them and watching them together. Feeling their love for me and mine for them lifted my spirits.

I was supposed to come back to Diane's around 4, but I lollygagged until about 6:30, when Ben drove me back to Boston. I hope to get home next weekend too.

I was expecting a chimerism result today, showing the percentage of donor to me. The last time they did the test, I think in early April, I was 100 percent donor. There's no reason to expect any change, but I am skittish due to the graft rejection I had with my previous donor. So I started to get stuck in my head: What if my symptoms really signal something terrible going on, even though Melissa says the nausea is probably due to what my body went through combined with the large number of pills I take every day. And what if my pokey platelets are  a sign that something is really wrong (although everyone says this is temporary).

Anyway, I practiced my breathing and other distractions, and when it got time to meet with Melissa today she said the chimerism isn't even in. My platelets were 12 today so I needed a bag. My hematocrit was 33, which is great, and my white blood count was 6.7, which is also a good sign. I still need to go to the clinic Wednesday and Friday this week.