Thursday, May 21, 2009

Thoughts on hair and hematocrit

I dreamt I was fishing in my purse for a hair tie. Finally I found a black one. I was happy that I found it; it didn't occur to me that I had no hair.

I forgot about the dream until last night, when I saw Diane doing the same thing I had dreamt about. I think everyone who's bald after chemo has had hair dreams. I've had others before. They usually leave me feeling sad. Little hairs are actually sprouting, but it will be a while before I am comfortable taking the scarf off.

The past few days I have felt incredibly lethargic. On Wednesday, I just couldn't get out of bed. I was awake, but I just lay there with thoughts running through my head. The few times I tried to get up, I was light-headed and had to get back in bed. "Don't lie down," I kept telling myself. But I couldn't help it, and by the time I got downstairs and forced down my shredded wheat and banana, it was 2:45 p.m. 

Today at the clinic my hematocrit was down to 24. No wonder I felt tired. (Platelets were 15, and wbc 6.6). I got a bag of platelets and two bags of blood. I was there for about eight hours, but I didn't really care because I knew the blood would perk me up. Yesterday when I went for a walk I could hardly catch my breath, but tonight after dinner when I went for a stroll with Diane, my breathing was already easier.

Ben and Joe went to the Red Sox game tonight, and Ben is going to pick me up in the morning and drive me home. I have appointments Monday and Thursday, but I am going to patch together rides so that South Hadley can be my home base through next weekend. Then I'll see what I can work out. As I told Melissa today, I'm getting a little mentally weird from spending so much time at someone else's house, with much of that time being alone.


PJ said...

Ronni, my counts are like yours. I got platelets and blood yesterday, but didn't get the boost I was hoping for. I hope you got the high-test.

I'm glad to hear your home base is actually going to be home. I think you'll start to see some improvement.

pam said...

Ronni, your strength, and stamina, continue to amaze me...if anyone should lie down for a spell, it's You! You need to continue to recouuperate...
the road has been so rugged,
your Spirit undiminished...
you are , oops another bad pun, Runder Woman!
beloved by all...xop
Thanks for being Friend/s...

susan said...

I think your analysis of what would help you sounds spot on! There's no place like home.

Ann said...

I know what you mean when you say that you're beginning to feel mentally weird. I'm right there with you. Here's to hoping that you get to establish your home base soon.

Jim said...


You have a beautiful face, so don't worry about the hair thing. I tried that with Dori, and she didn't buy it. But it's true - for you and her.

I always thought Dori had some days in the hospital when she was bald where she looked incredible. Still do. Amazing what a smile (and a bandana, I guess) does to a sweet face.


Susan C said...

Ah, the old phantom hair dream. (Now I dream that I have hips and a bun and wake up to straight and flat.)

The 2:45 breakfast really struck a chord. I ended up hiring someone (for a couple weeks) to come for a half hour in the morning to make sure I had breakfast, meds, water, fed animals, etc. Otherwise, mornings were just too overwhelming.

That's fabulous that you're back to walking again. You sure don't stay down for long.

Nelle said...

A weekend home will surely lift your spirits again. I hope you will enjoy it and be feeling better all the way around.

Vytas said...

Hi Ronni

I'm with Jim on this all the way. You DO have a pretty face and smile. And your hair will be back curly and cute as it always does!

You must be related to Dori as I know you don't believe either of us.

In the meantime, keeep smiling, you look great! :-)


Dennis Pyritz, RN said...

Great blog! I am a leukemia survivor also. I have added you to my blogroll - Cancer Blog Links at
Take care, Dennis