Monday, May 11, 2009

Home for Mother's Day

I'm standing in between Katie and Joe, who is next to
 Ben in this photo taken in our yard on Mother's Day.

I got tanked up with blood and platelets Friday and then Joe picked me up and drove me to South Hadley. It was a beautiful day, with the grass and trees and rolling hills showing off that light green of early spring. Katie was at a show with a friend, so it was just Joe and me. We sat on the couch together as Joe, the master of the clicker, went back and forth between the Red Sox, the Bruins and the Celtics games. Normally I would get annoyed, but I was happy to be at home, Joe switching channels on one side of me and the dog curled up asleep on my other side.

I had a trickle of visitors on Saturday, took a short walk and spent a lot of time on the couch. It was of course great to be home, but I wasn't (and still am not) feeling great. I am having trouble eating, and when I do eat, I often throw it up. When you're tired and not feeling well, it's harder to stay on the sunny side of the street. Patience does not come easy. And as good as it felt to get home, it was also a little surreal. After all, I haven't been there since late December, and I felt like I was plopped from one world into another, and then dropped back into the Boston world again. At least it's not the hospital, and as I've said before, they're treating me well here.

Yesterday, Mother's Day, was wonderful. Ben drove home, and the three of them presented me with very touching cards and great presents: a Red Sox hat, a pack of tennis balls and two books, "Strokes of Genius, Federer, Nadal and the Greatest Match Ever Played," and "We are our Mothers' Daughters," by Cokie Roberts.

I loved being with the three of them and watching them together. Feeling their love for me and mine for them lifted my spirits.

I was supposed to come back to Diane's around 4, but I lollygagged until about 6:30, when Ben drove me back to Boston. I hope to get home next weekend too.

I was expecting a chimerism result today, showing the percentage of donor to me. The last time they did the test, I think in early April, I was 100 percent donor. There's no reason to expect any change, but I am skittish due to the graft rejection I had with my previous donor. So I started to get stuck in my head: What if my symptoms really signal something terrible going on, even though Melissa says the nausea is probably due to what my body went through combined with the large number of pills I take every day. And what if my pokey platelets are  a sign that something is really wrong (although everyone says this is temporary).

Anyway, I practiced my breathing and other distractions, and when it got time to meet with Melissa today she said the chimerism isn't even in. My platelets were 12 today so I needed a bag. My hematocrit was 33, which is great, and my white blood count was 6.7, which is also a good sign. I still need to go to the clinic Wednesday and Friday this week.


Susan C said...

Ronni, Has it really been since 2008 since you've been home? Wow! Your dog must have been beyond thrilled to see you.

Great to hear that you're walking and talking, even though you're still feeling lousy.

PJ said...

Glad you got home for mother's day. Your body has been through the wringer--no wonder you don't feel so good. Patience, more weekends at home, summer pleasures ... little by little you'll get back in whack.

Mary said...


I'm happy to hear you got home for the weekend and had a nice Mother's Day with Joe, Katie and Ben. Keeping my fingers crossed that you'll be looking for a walking partner soon for some nice strolls around the lake.

donna said...

I'm so happy you were able to make it home for the weekend and Mother's Day. Of course it felt like another world after what you've been through. Don't get discouraged - baby steps. You're doing good! Love you!

Nelle said...

I am thrilled that you were able to spend Mother's Day in your home with all your children. So sorry to hear that you are still not feeling well though. I know meds upset my stomach a lot. The ones I can have something small with are much better than those taken on an empty stomach. Hoping you get back home next weekend too.
Take care.

Susan said...

Gene said he could tell you were home by the happy parade of visitors.
I hope that your doctors/nutritionists can figure out how to control your queasiness soon.

Best, Susan

Meryl Fingrutd said...


Miss you already. It was so nice to have you home. I know I have said this many times, but try to have some patience with your body's ability to come back to normal. Hope we can see you again this weekend. Much love, Meryl

Ann said...

So happy you had a chance to relax in your own space.

pam said...

Dearest Ronni,

Home for good is on the near Horizon!

not just home again, home again, jiggity jog, but home again, Run, Ronni Run...with the wind behind you...
and you will be feeling better and better, every day...
asked my pulmonary dr. to read your blog, especially on breathing...he is looking forward to it...xop

Anonymous said...

Fabulous Mother's Day gift- just hanging out with your kids in your beautiful home is just what you needed! I hope you get your appetite back soon, feeling off like that really does throw you for a loop... Here's hoping you'll get to be home much more often, and keeping my fingers crossed for the 100%!

Korby said...

can't believe you were home for Mother's Day! that was great for you! It was a great day for Boston sports fans, too, so that was good to be able to sit with your kids who are real fans and see them so happy. Sure wish you felt better, but it is coming. Any chance you can come to the Jimmy Fund dinner June 15th this year? Be talkin' to you. Love, Korby

susiegb said...

Lovely that you managed to get home and spend time with your kids ... :) And - what everyone else said!

Susan C said...

Oh, you added a picture. So good to see you and your lovely family!

donna said...


Jim said...


I know you don't feel great, but your beautiful smile is a sign of strength. Keep smilin' and what great kids you have!


Lea Morrison said...


You are amazing. I am blown away that you are even standing up for the photo. I think I would be in bed with people crouching around me. I remember "home" being amazing but also overwhelming at the same time. Was my house really that big? No, just I was use to the hospital room so small with everything at my finger tips. Home made me happy but way more tired.

SMall steps and you are making them- keep going!
I am so impressed with your grace,

Nelle said...

OH you added a picture. It made my heart smile. So happy you had this special day with your children and I'm sure it made them so happy to share it with you as well.
I wish you many more joyous days,

pam again said...

Dearest Runni,

You will be shocked! You have inspired me to get in better shape -- just did killates --
and realized that i've been breathing wrong for more than fifty years! tnx also to the pulmonary drearleaders...
and maybe, just maybe, i'll take up yoga, but that's a stretch!
oh no! pam the punster strikes again...can't wait until you get home --

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful picture!! I can't wait to see you and I hope we're able to rendezvous in South Hadley!!

Howard said...

Great photo, Ronni. You're kids are lovely. Hope you're feeling better.

Thinking of you,

serena said...

so happy to hear you made it home for mother's day!! love reading your words. keep on keepin on. sending u so much love :)

Chaska said...

Great to see you with your kids!! An abundance of endless love surrounds you Ronni!! Sending some your way...NOW!

Paula said...

Hi Ronni,
It's been a long time, tennis budday! I ran into Korby this week, and she told me about your blog. I enjoyed reading it. Glad you made it home for Mother's Day.
I am thinking about you and hoping that you are doing better-one step at a time.