Saturday: I dreamt that my father had come back and was looking great. He was jumping around, and my mother and I told him to calm down because this was his second chance and he didn't want to get sick and die again.
Sunday: I dreamt that my mother came back and looked beautiful with her dark shiny hair that she was about to put in rollers. We were getting ready to go out, and I asked if I could share her bathroom mirror to put on my makeup because it was better than the mirror in our bathroom. (True, it really was.) Plus, the bathroom that I shared with Diane was filled with towels, and somebody needed to do a wash.
Sometimes when they come back I am comforted, but other times like this I wake up so sad that they are not really back after all.
Today: Dream sadness on top of piercing big toe pain. Close to tears. It hurts so much I can barely walk. Last night, rather than sit in pain, I took an oxycodone. I am not supposed to take ibuprofen or any other anti-inflammatories because they thin your blood. I am not supposed to take Tylenol because it is not good for my liver. I know exactly why I never got addicted to "oxy" even though yes, it does make you feel good briefly. I wake up with a headache and take the Tylenol anyway.
The first appointment was not until Nov. 17. I said I was really nervous about having an untreated possible infection due to my history, and the receptionist said OK, Thursday then.
A man who overheard this conversation said he had channeled his guru, who left his physical body in 1967 but whose spirit was telling my new "friend" to advise me to go to the nearby Cooley Dickinson clinic on University Drive. He wrote out the directions word by word and then listed five podiatrists who might be able to see me the same day if the clinic doctor intervened.
I decided to soak in Epsom salts tonight instead and call my own podiatrist the next few days to see if there are cancellations.
Next stop was the Jones Library to get a book that we are reading for book club: "Empty Mansions: The Mysterious Life of Huguette Clark." It was on the lower level on the lowest shelf. I got down on the floor to get the book and was pleased to be able to get into a lunge position and get up from there with no problem. (It's the little things.)
I had seen a sign saying Kindles were available to borrow, so I stopped at the reference desk, where a nice librarian showed me how to use one. I am going to read BJ Novak's short stories just for fun. Believe it or not, it was the first time I ever even touched a Kindle.
The librarian said he had just read in a journal that people absorb way more reading print than on a screen. Like I said, I am going to try the Kindle, but I am not going to get one, just maybe take one out again the next time I fly.