I can't speak for everyone, but I imagine that for most, when something really bad has happened to you, you come across land mines everywhere that can set off anxiety about whatever it is that you fear.
With time, you hopefully learn to dodge them.
I thought about this while interviewing a doctor for a newspaper story I am writing (more on this later) that involves me and other people as well. It's basically a health and science story, hence the doctor interview. We hit it off right away over the phone; I liked him a lot and he gave me good information. Naturally, I summarized my history of the four transplants.
He was very encouraging and said he thought I'd do extremely well. Then he said, "The only thing that gives me trepidation is that you relapsed the first time after 3 1/2 years."
Please nobody tell me about trepidation.
He then modified his statement by telling me what I already know, that my first transplant, using my own stem cells, was not therapeutic in terms of keeping leukemia away, while my last one, with Denise in there to fend off invaders, is another story. (Thank you Denise. I provide the coffee and cake and cheer you on, while you do the work.)
I know that he's not my doctor and doesn't know my case, and all that, but still, a word like "trepidation" can be one of those land mines.
You step on some of them so quickly you don't know what's happened, but you can avoid others. I realized that in this case I had a choice. Obviously it bothered me, or else I wouldn't be writing about it,
but I saw its potential and tried hard not to go there.
I think it worked pretty well.
10 hours ago