Monday, March 30, 2009

Upstairs downstairs

The other day they moved me from the sixth floor (6A) back down to the fourth (4C). I kind of went kicking and screaming (well, not exactly, but I whined a lot). That had been my home for months and it was hard to leave.

I loved the nurses and the extra care on 6A. It's the pod where the sickest people are, and I needed to be there for a long time. Then they needed my bed for someone who was really sick. I am walking by myself now, although I'm still very shaky. And my nurse pointed out that she noticed I put on earrings, a sure sign of improving mental health. Still, I was attached to my little home away from home. Everyone pointed out that it was a good move; I didn't need that level of care anymore.

I came down to 4C two nights ago, kind of sulky. But I quickly realized the nurses down here are just as nice, plus the rooms are newer and very pleasant. I had already been on 4C during an earlier hospital stay, and found it a good omen that our apartment in New York was 4C also. Now I'm settling in here!

Today we meet about my discharge plans. I might actually leave tomorrow.

Transitions are hard...especially this one, since I've been here three months. But as Wendy said in an earlier comment, it's natural for transitions to be trying, but important to remember that they're taking me to a better place.


Nelle said...

OMG Ronni the progress you have made is astounding! I always got attached to hospital rooms as they do become your home away from home.I remember desperately wanting to get out of CICU because they woke me up constantly. Will you be going to rehab? are making it steadily and I couldn't be happier for you. Well done wonder woman.:)

Susan C said...

Did someone say HOME? What thrilling news.

Barala said...

Transitions can by trying, as we talked about the other day, but this is a really good transition you made over the weekend, and an even better one out of the hospital in the next few days. It's the one you and everyone who cares about you has been hoping for. They wouldn't let you do it if the time weren't right. Take a deep breath and jump back into the world. I'm betting not soon after your feet touch down you'll be wondering what the trepidation was all about. Carpe diem!

Suzanne said...

Hi Ronni,

I work at DFCI in Development with Eric Kaye...he sent along your blog to all of us on the marathon team this year.

Just want to say that your strength is amazing. Don't for one second think that you aren't touching people far beyond your reach (those you put up to read the blog as you said :) ).

Thanks for adding yet another inspiration to my Boston Marathon this year. I look forward to reading more about your road to final, healthy, recovery.

Be well.

Mikha'el said...

Going home...sounds like progress in the right direction. Best wishes and enjoy the ability to get the spring breeze's at home.

Susan said...

Hi Ronni:
I think you will be really happy after a few hours on the outside!

Wendy S. Harpham, MD said...

Dear Ronni,
This transition can be emotionally trying, not only because of the grief over losing or leaving the good aspects of a bad situation (such as the tender, loving care of the ICU staff),but also related to
1) the loss of your ICU routine, 2) the realization of how sick you were and 3)the anxiety of not knowing your limits -- not knowing exactly how much your body can and can't do.

A few things that helped me through transitions:
1) recognizing it was a transition and would be challenging,
2) finding a safe place to express my fears, anxieties, sadness where people would not try to make me feel better with platitudes,
3) reminding myself that this was a good transition
4)finding some small way to celebrate each milestone as part of the transition
5) giving myself a short-term achievable goal each day
6) using pictures to keep the long-term goals and rewards in mind, such as a picture of going out to dinner with my family (so I could say to myself, "I'm going through this, so I can once again go out to eat for a good time."
7) and reminding myself that although it feels like forever while going through it, transitions are temporary.

Transitions are bridges to better places. So try not to keep looking down over the bridge. Instead, look ahead to where this bridge is taking you.

With hope, Wendy

Catherine L said...

Ronni, I'm glad to hear that home is on the horizon. I've been reading your blog all along. Thinking of you often.

pam said...

Dearest Ronni,

i'm with Catherine! Home on the Horizon!

Homeward Found! Yes, transitions are frightening, but You, our Runner-Heroine, rise to the occasion, and here's a bad pun,
i 4C the road rising up to greet thee, always, for your fleet-footed run... xop

Meryl Fingrutd said...

Hi Ronni:

Just remember that you are not in this transition alone. Many friends, family and others will be there to help you!

Thinking of you always,

CogSci Librarian said...

Glad to hear you're making such good progress. I hope the transition goes well -- I'm sure there will be ups & downs, and that's OK.

Keep us posted!

Ann said...

Best news yet! There is nothing like home to lift the spirits and accelerate healing. At least, that's how it always works for me. I'm so happy to hear that you're moving forward.

hockeychic said...

Wow, amazing progress. How wonderful to even see the word "discharge" in your entry! Amazing = you!

susiegb said...

Wow Ronni - getting out of hospital soon is great news! I know it is (and will be) scarey, and you may feel a bit abandoned (by the doctors and nurses) and kind of adrift. Well, that's how I felt when my chemo was finished (after staying in hospital for 2-4 weeks).

This too will pass. What Wendy said was great - look ahead, not down! And remember this is what you want to happen! Getting back to normal life ... :)

One Mother with Cancer said...

That's great news, Congratulations!!

Samantha MacRae said...

YOu are a wonder woman Ronni!!

Susan C said...

I just wanted to thank Wendy for her wise and helpful words.

PJ said...

Hey, I'm late to the party. This is news worth celebrating. You're on your way!

donna said...

It was great to see you Sunday and walk the "inner pod". Getting sprung must seem like a giant step after what you have been through. Keep doing your baby steps toward becoming stronger and stronger every day. You can do it. Eat, eat, eat. Love You!

nicole_rc said...

HI, Woohoo you may be on your way home, I am amazed and so happy for you. I saw where you posted you can now walk a little.. My mom has really been setback since having her colon removed, they are talking of her going to a nursing home rehab.. She just wants to go home but until she can get up and walk they say she will be best doing PT and OT at a facility, and unfortunatley she is not ready for a Rehab Hospital with Accute Care. My sister was asking today if I thought my mom would ever walk again, Of course I told her.. Im going to tell her all about you. You give me faith that my mom can get thru these roughest times. hugs, nicole

Suzanne Strempek Shea said...

What great news, Ronni! A big change but for the better and better.
Thinking of you,

Nancy said...

Home Sweet Home. Congratulations Ronni. You are amazing. Keep up the good work!