Dreams

I dreamt I had straight shoulder-length hair that my hairdresser had colored with a henna rinse.

I danced around to show it off to my mother. "Should you have done that?" she asked. "It will rinse right out," I promised. My mother looked worried, and then I grew worried too.

"Don't tell my oncologist!" I said.

The hair dreams weave in and out of my sleep. In all of those dreams, my hair is longer and dark. I am usually surprised and pleased. Other cancer survivors have told me of their similar dreams.

I often dream about storms, about running from high waves threatening to engulf me. Or I dream that I am driving my car and not totally in control. I try to squeeze into small spaces. I go too close to the end of a cliff. I get stuck in reverse and struggle to get out.

The other night I dreamt that I was at a picnic. I looked up and saw dark clouds shaped like a twister. I tried to get everyone to run and hide. But they said I was over-reacting. I took a chance and came out from where I was hiding. The twister disappeared. The sky was still dark, but the threat of disaster was gone. A light ran began to fall, and the other picnickers looked at me as if to say, "We told you not to worry."

Last night I dreamt I was driving but couldn't keep my foot securely on the pedal. My new clogs were making it hard to connect. I drove into a corner and wasn't sure how to get out. I backed out and put the car in drive. By accident I drove onto a plank that sent me ricocheting into the air. I flew through the air and landed safely.

So transparent. So hopeful.

I wonder what recurring dreams other people have.