Didn't he just graduate from kindergarten?

Katie, Joe and Ben after Bates graduation.

Katie, Diane, Joe, Ronni and Ben.

We had a great weekend in Maine for Joe's graduation from Bates.

It's hard to believe. Seems like only yesterday that he was a little boy in a white cap and gown, graduating from kindergarten. I'm going to dig out that photo and post it along with one from yesterday.

He had a wonderful college experience, making many friends, playing hockey and doing well academically in the face of adversity. It was during his sophomore year that I almost died. He repeatedly drove more than two hours to Boston that snowy, cold winter; one time he had just returned to school and had to turn around and drive back to the hospital upon getting a call that I might not make it through the night.

He persevered with grace and a sense of humor, putting in a lot of hard work. I'm very proud of him, and of the other two also. I loved being there all together. Diane came too, and I was happy to have her there.

The graduation ceremony itself was short and sweet.

President Elaine Hansen began with a Garry Trudeau quote: "Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world without being properly sedated."

By way of bucking that trend, instead of one speaker, the three recipients of honorary degrees spoke briefly. Most audience members didn't know them, but the format worked out well. They were:

Frank Glazer, Bates artist-in-residence and lecturer and an internationally known pianist; Evelynn Hammonds, Dean of Harvard and a scholar on the intersection of race and medicine; and Robert S. Langer, an MIT researcher who did ground-breaking work on cancer treatment.

I'm writing this from Diane's house in Newton. We have to be at the hospital at 6 a.m. tomorrow for the surgery on my tongue. It's scheduled for 7:30, and I'll probably be ready to leave around 2 p.m. More on that later.

Time to celebrate

It's all graduation, (mostly) all the time.

We've also got Maddie needing a lot of TLC and many trips to the vet, but she is healing very well, so first things first:

Katie's graduation from South Hadley High School is this Sunday, June 6. A stream of activities includes parties and school events. One of my jobs is to figure out where I am invited. Yes to the scholarship award program at the high school yesterday. Yes to the baccalaureate program tomorrow. No to the senior banquet after the baccalaureate. No to some parties, yes to others.

I'm not sure what to expect from the baccalaureate. I didn't go to Ben or Joe's. I guess it's a big celebration. A slide show of the seniors then and now is planned, with music to cry by.

Katie and two friends, Connie and Rachel, shared a party at Rachel's house this past Sunday, the three families participating in planning and splitting the cost. Katie's dad helped too. It turned out very well. Katie's friend Connie baked an incredible cake made of four pieces, each one forming a digit in the number 2010. Each piece was its own cake; I believe they were lemon, chocolate mint chip, strawberry shortcake and peanut butter.

After graduation this Sunday we'll have a small party attended by Diane and David and and a few friends who are like extended family. Joe is already here, and Ben will come from New York.

It's all very exciting!

This has led to a rare urge to clean. I swept up a lot of pine needles off the little deck where the grill is and in front near the steps. I wanted to get them into the cart to dump them in the woods, and also pull out some weeds where I was sweeping, but I made myself stop to let Joe or Katie get closer to the dirty work, as per doctors' orders.

Inspired by gardeners Ann and Susan, I want to buy some more flowers for my planters, but it might not get done before the weekend. I walked to the farmers' market on the town common and splurged on a planter put together by a local woman. From her garden, she chose lobelia, impatiens and a green butterfly-shaped plant whose name I forget.

Way too early for me, Katie leaves Aug. 22 for orientation at Brandeis University.

On the dog side, Maddie is healing remarkably well. She has to wear what most people call a lampshade around her head, because as soon as it's off, she goes right for her stitches. We take it off when we walk her (not very far) or feed her. She has to go back to the vet every few days. Usually we do it in twos, but the last time I did it by myself when we realized I could get her in and out of the car alone. The bandage has come off and gone back on, depending on how the stitches look. It was on, but last time the vet took it off so the area could get some air. We return tomorrow.

We could be going closer, to our regular vet, but we decided to stay with the emergency hospital – Veterinary Emergency & Specialty Hospital – in South Deerfield, Mass. – just to finish the job with the same people. It's about 20 minutes away, but the more we go, the easier it seems. Also we've all been so impressed by the veterinarians there.

Who thought they would fly away?

When you are pregnant, many people are compelled to tell you their terrible childbirth story. I love to tell mine too, and it was a doozy each of three times, but I don't tell pregnant women unless they really really have a ghoulish desire to hear it. Sometimes it is fun, but only if both sides want to talk.

As my last child approaches graduation and heads for college, I am afraid that when she leaves I will just collapse. I went from that pregnant woman to a mother of three. The house was chaotic. They ran all around the house, participating in school theater and music (Katie) and playing baseball (Ben and Joe). The rides, the fights, the sunflowers spilling from the pockets of baseball pants, the costumes, the ice cream trips, and the wonderful moments where I wasn't exhausted and they all got along.

One left, then the other. It was hard to see them go, but at least there was one left. I know, this is great: They are successful well-rounded really nice kids. This is how I brought the up to be, right up to the part when they spread their wings and fly. But it's not totally true. I basically did not bring them up to leave. I had them for my enjoyment. Well, of course, I knew they would leave. But the time seemed so far away, I thought it never would come. I was too busy pulling Legos out of my feet.

Katie and I have spent the past few weeks looking at the mail for either a big envelope (good) or a little one (rejection). She's just about done with her college search. She is trying to decide between two excellent choices. It's been stressful.

On top of it is the busy-bodies with their prediction of my desolation. Some say, "I know we've already talked about it, but I still keep thinking about how sad you'll be when Katie goes away." Some just point it out as though it's a new thought for them.

I have no wall against this. So then, the wood planks on the floor sound creakier each time I step on certain ones. The house feels emptier. Bad idea to live through tomorrow's problems today, so I should stop. Hopefully, I will be busier and get my activities back.

I told the person who last brought it up that I am certain I will go to bed, pull my covers over my head and become a recluse who depends on food brought in occasionally.

Let's hope I was wrong.