In Wellfleet, a first trip to the ocean

It was a long drive to and from, but another trip to Wellfleet was well worth it. This time it was with all three kids – yay – and guest of honor Nell at Diane and David's "treehouse" in the woods.

It was Nell's first trip to the "big ocean," as compared to the Long Island Sound, her neighborhood beach.

I remembered how, the first time Joe saw the ocean, he said, "Water too big."

Nell had the advantage of going at low tide and walking right into a tidal pool, a "mini ocean," where other kids were playing. (Thanks David for the heads-up).

I can't find the right word for how it feels to see my baby with his baby. Strange (because wasn't he just that age) and wonderful (because I had said, "I'm never going to see my grandchildren, and now I have two of them.)

There was a lot for her to do. Such as, go to a playground near the beach, eat ice cream and more ice cream, and take a ride in Diane's canoe in the shallow part of Gull Pond, through the reeds.

She wanted me to have a ride also, so I clambered in also after Ben and Diane paddled her around. At first it seemed like I wasn't going to be able to get out from my seated position in the middle. Katie tried to pull, to no avail. So I turned around and stood up like I usually do. Did I feel a little like an old lady? Yes, at that point, but not when I got up at the crack of dawn (my father's words) and drove into town for a coffee and a three-and-a-half-mile run.

We ate a lot of great food, from the dock – Mac's Shack – to the dining room table. The bluefish, probably right off the boat, was so fresh and delicious that even those who don't eat much fish asked for it for a second night. After dinner, we went out on the deck and looked at fireflies.

The idea of getting everyone together was born last summer when Katie and I were leaving Wellfleet. She asked where Ben and Joe were. We knew where they were, but I knew what she meant. It had been a while since the last family vacation. I began to put out feelers.

Being able to look a whole year ahead with as much confidence as the next person, as opposed to having leukemia and being afraid to plan for anything, gave me an idea for a post on the blood cancer platform of Health Union, for which I have been writing.

It would be about how my view of the future changed incrementally. At first and after each relapse, I  would plan for the short term. Getting out of the hospital for Mother's Day, getting out for Ben's high school graduation. When I got to those events, I garnered the courage to plan for other things. Sometimes I planned and it didn't work out. Such as the time I got pneumonia right before I was scheduled to go to California for my cousin Nancy's 60th birthday party. But the world didn't end. I got to see the photos. 

I just thought of something that I don't want to get caught up in.

I planned a trip to Cape May and I relapsed.

I got better and planned a trip to California. And relapsed again.

Joe said to never plan a vacation to any place other than Cape Cod.

So we went to Cape Cod again and all was well.

Does that mean that I can never break the curse?

Of course not!

Right?