Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Bad dreams about skin, good night with the Dems

Eight years out. Fewer relapse nightmares.

Graft vs. host disease, mostly of the skin. More dermatological nightmares.

For example, in my dream last night I was going to Florida. Or maybe summer camp. It wasn't clear, but I had to pack for warm weather. When I got there, my first thought was that I didn't want my parents to leave. The second was that I had forgotten my bathing suit.

Some other women (girls?) said no problem, they had extras. So I took one and went into a bathroom and tried it on. It was a two-piece with a top that didn't fit over my stomach, which in real life has popped out due to the GVHD of the skin. (No, it is not the same as normal aging, it is what the doctor described accurately as feeling like a band.)

I thought I would just wear a shirt over it. Everything seemed OK until I looked down and saw some raised spots on my abdomen. I went to a doctor who paged the dermatologist. The doctor said he wasn't sure but he thought the new spots looked ominous. I was seriously distressed.

I woke up in a panic.

Then ...

I gave Maddie her morning hug and went downstairs and had half an orange and opened up the free guided meditation that I have bookmarked and did a 10-minute (well, 9:52 min) calming meditation. Then cereal and off to fun tennis (pills, water and coffee in the car), then Starbucks to discuss the headlines, home to walk the dog and this evening, attending a meeting, "Mobilizing the Democratic Party from the Bottom Up: Using our most strategic political tool to resist Trump and reclaim our democracy," held before the Northampton Democratic City Committee's Caucus.

I rode with neighbors from the South Hadley Democratic Committee. After they explained caucusing to me, it sounded interesting and important enough that I might want to get involved with the local Dems. All in all, I got a boost from the commitment and enthusiasm in the packed auditorium at Smith Vocational High School. The pizza was good too.

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