I love the moment when you first wake up, between dream and day, floating on a cloud. The room is cold and you're warm beneath the quilts, the sun seeping in from under the shades.
Even better, the dog has slept in and sticks her cold nose in your face AFTER 8 a.m. We get up and go downstairs. I love the way they look so funny scrambling down. The dog food has spilled, and I throw it out on the floor. She runs around and gobbles it up, eating in eight seconds instead of four. Very entertaining.
As opposed to yesterday, my feet have not woken me up. I guess that's the sunny way to look at the fact that my neuropathy – technically called chemotherapy induced peripheral neuropathy – returned after I stopped taking Neurontin. I wanted to see if it had gone away, but alas, within about a week it was back. Yesterday I woke up to sharp pins piercing my feet.
I popped two pills and felt better pretty quickly.
I looked it up and found that the nerve pain is sometimes so severe that patients need to take a break during chemotherapy. The pain can last for days or months or even indefinitely. There isn't a proven treatment. Neurontin, which is used for nerve disorders, takes the edge off. One doctor at Dana-Farber said he thought cocoa butter helped. (It didn't.)
All drugs have side effects, of course, so I really wanted to stop the pills. I read that acupuncture and massage can help, so I might look into that.
Even with the drug, my feet are sometimes not all there.
Using the "N" card, (for neuropathy instead of the "C" card for cancer), could come in handy.
Can't do a yoga pose? I can't feel my feet! (Which is actually often the case, although I don't say it.)
Can't run for the tennis ball? My feet are numb!
I am trying to make a joke out of it, but it's not always that funny. Well at least for now, there is a solution, and I can proceed with my sunny day.
Holding My Breath
1 day ago