Shot time

Earlier this week I got my vaccinations. You do this one year post-transplant. I did it after my first transplant in 2003, and this is the first time since then that I've made it to a year.

So hurray for vaccines, two in each arm! It didn't really hurt, but the two in my left arm went into the muscle, so it hurt more and was sore for a few days. It felt kind of upside-down; it seems like only yesterday that I took my babies to be vaccinated. The hand-outs I got this week were the same as they give at the pediatrician, explaining "what you need to know" about the shots.

I got the shots for:

– Haemophilus B, or Hib vaccine, to prevent Hib, a serious disease caused by bacteria and possibly leading to pneumonia, swelling of the throat, infections of the blood, joints, bones, covering of the heart and also even death;

– Diptheria, tetanus and pertussis (whopping cough);

– Pneumococcal disease, a bacterial infection that can cause blood infections, pneumonia, and bacterial meningitis, an infection of the covering of the brain; and

– Meningococcal disease, another bacterial illness that can cause bacterial meningitis and blood infections.

As for the rest of the visit, my counts were a little lower but OK for me. I got an appointment for two weeks, then headed back out into the world, a brave baby who had not shed a tear through all the shots and blood tests.

It's a little stretch to compare the shots to some other things, but it feels like there is a connection.

In jogging, I have to go back to "beginner's mind" (kind of like baby mind) to make progress. This means starting with run/walks, instead of struggling to reach advanced goals.

In yoga, I had to back up a little to see a way towards progress, sort of like going back to childhood to get my shots. The week before, yoga was terrible. It was too hard, and I fought it all the way. First of all, I looked at people doing what I could do effortlessly before my last hospitalization, and it made me angry. I kept toppling over, and Erin brought me a chair to lean on. That made it so much easier, because I didn't have to worry about falling.

This week I pulled the chair over and had it ready to use before that difficult balancing part came. So I didn't have to deal with anxiety. I did better the whole class and especially the part where I used the chair.

Erin came over after and said I did well. "See, you need to accept help," she said.

If I need to be more childlike, or, rather, feel more childlike to get the necessary help, whether it's shots or yoga or running or tennis, then I need to stop struggling and just do it.