Dog, and sodium, misbehave

Got lab test results from local blood draw Tuesday which showed that my liver was stable but not normal. Still, I got the go-ahead to reduce the prednisone to 30 mg. from 40. Meanwhile my sodium had dropped, necessitating a recheck yesterday.

I ate as many salty snacks as I could tolerate (I wish it was sugar!) and found out today that it was a little better but still low. I later took a salt pill. We'll see. My stomach is a little messed up again, and I woke up this morning shaky, wobbly and dizzy, then perked up when I had some juice and breakfast. Went for a walk with Barry, and he was kind enough to hold the dog. I hadn't totally recovered my strength from this morning, so that was a good idea.

Man's (and women's and children's) best friend is driving me a little crazy. She has still not resolved her house-training problems. She's good for maybe two days in a row, and then she leaves me an overnight nugget. I've stopped feeding her afternoons, and I've given her the run of the house. She could sleep with me, but she likes it downstairs, where she has her bed and her favorite place, the corner of the couch, covered with an afghan.

All happy, she runs up to get me around 7 a.m. and leads me down. If she's done something, she either cowers or acts like nothing is wrong. I have to drag her over and point it out. From time to time she barks at me. But she is a very passive dog, so I just get her on the leash and bring her over. The vet says I should crate her again, but Maddie was actually kind of weird in the crate. They're not supposed to, but she would do her business in there anyway and then inch away from the mess.

Today she wasn't so great on our walk, either. (I'd say she was "bad," but for dogs, that is not a pc word, as in "No Bad Dogs," only "bad" owners. Oy!) We tied her to the leg of one of the lightweight tables, told her to briefly hold our place, and went into the Mount Holyoke library, where there is a Rao's coffee shop tucked inside. While we were getting our stuff, a student came in and said, "Your dog is freaking out." Barry went out and found that Maddie had dragged the table all the way to the door, where she was whining and barking.

Then we went to the Odyssey Bookshop, an independent store that I like to support, and tied her for a minute or two there. I've done this before, and she usually sits and chills. Again, she went crazy.

So Barry sat with her when I got my books – "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo," by Stieg Larsson; "Truth and Beauty," by Ann Patchett; and "Autobiography of a Face," by Lucy Grealy.

I'm starting with the first, a bestselling mystery and apparently a quick read, which is our book club choice before we break for the summer.

Meanwhile back to the dog...While I was writing this post I decided I needed a Coke, one of my major comfort foods, or drinks. Down the street at Tailgate Picnic, the place we call the deli, I hooked Maddie's leash on the white picket fence and told her sit quietly on the grass while I ran in.

She was just fine.

Maybe she liked the grass.

Or maybe she had been crying for her good friend Barry, and once it was just the dog and me, she didn't need to fuss.

Anyway, now she is curled up, lightly snoring, sleeping and cute on her bed. Maybe all that carrying-on helped wear her out. Katie and Joe are both out – Katie's in a play that I'm seeing tomorrow, and Joe is watching the Bruin's game with friends – so it is nice to have the dog for company.

Everyone was happy on prom day

Where did the time go? I ask it over and over as one pre-graduation

event follows another. This time it was the senior prom. (In

photo at right, Nate and Katie adjust his boutoniere.)

She and four friends who've known each other since fifth grade have a routine. They go to someone's house for pictures and then take off from there. Posing on the lawn under a red maple tree, they looked beautiful, with smiles all around.

We parents hung around a little after the "kids" left, long enough for someone to snap a photo of us.

Above, from left, there's Tony, Charles, Rose, Meryl and me. One of Katie's friends whispered to her,

"Now it really is the senior prom." Ha.

On the medical front, not much is happening. I got my blood drawn locally today so I can find out if my liver function has improved. If it has, I may be able to go down to 30 mg. of prednisone, from 40.

I'm also going to do some outpatient physical therapy. I have exercises at home, but it's hard

to get motivated to do them. At least I'm walking again without falling down.

Saved!

After I waited for about an hour in the clinic Monday, Melissa finally came into the exam room where I sat after progressing through the layers of the system. (Sit in waiting room. Get blood drawn. Back to waiting room. Get called into exam room. Wait in exam room.)

She stood at the door, a copy of my blood counts in her hand. "Well," she said, while my heart fluttered for a second. "These are GREAT counts."

My white count was 8.8, hematocrit 31.9, and platelets 61. Saved! (Saved from my imagination, but still, saved is saved.)

I had let the beach ball of my anxiety rise to the surface (Wendy Halpern's suggestion) and then I had tossed it to several of the many people who will put up with me. The "problem" was that my visit Monday was on Dec. 21st, the year anniversary of my relapse, and since I hadn't felt well last year and I didn't feel great this year on this particular date, I tied everything together.

(In other words I was worried that I would learn on Monday that I had relapsed.)

Some responses: "Don't DO that. Think about something else."

or "Ronni, this is negative magical thinking. It's not real. Stop doing that."

"It's just a day like any other day. You'll be fine."

So I was OK and I could move along. Big sigh of relief.

My liver function test was down slightly, but Melissa said to stay on the 40 mg. of prednisone anyway while it hopefully continues to improve. We talked about prednisone: She said it's an amazing drug that fixes many problems, but it creates problems in many areas too. So just as you can credit many improvements to the prednisone, you can blame many problems on it too.

For example, as the dose has risen, my legs have gotten weaker. I have been more tired, and also moodier. I can blame that all on the prednisone. Still, this week I've been able to be busier, and that has helped. For logistical reasons, we squeezed our Hanukkah party in last night, when it was no longer Hanukkah. You can't do that with the major holidays, but you can do it with Hanukkah, or at least we do, planning it around when the college "kids" come home and the working "kids" can get away.

Diane and David and their two children, Lily and Sam, came to our house last night from Newton for dinner, lighting of the candles and a present exchange. Joe is home for his winter break, and Ben managed to come for a few days. I, obviously, was already here with Katie.

They will laugh if they read this, because it is an understatement: I am not too well-organized. In addition, I am especially spaced-out these days. So, I'm lucky that Ben was around all day to push me faster through my errands, and that, after jockey practice, Joe stepped in to help make the dinner and hors d'oeuvres (which featured Kosher pigs-in-blankets).

Everyone, including of course Diane, stepped up in some way. It was a genuine family affair, and everyone seemed to have a good time.

Diane and I had to laugh about the way we set the table in our own heads. When we were growing up, it was always "Us four and ...." meaning our mother, father and us two sisters as the basic unit, adding on however many guests were coming.

Now as Diane parsed it out, it was "Us four and..." meaning her and David, Lily and Sam, plus the others, such as my three kids and me. I pointed it out as she said it aloud. To me, it's a different "Us four," meaning Ben, Joe, Katie and me, and then the others.

The building blocks are the same, just arranged differently. I'm glad that I'm still in the mix.