Shpilkes

 Shpilkes: Yiddish plural noun, literally “pins.”

First meaning: “On pins and needles,” an unpleasant nervousness before an event.

Nowadays it can mean “upset stomach,” “feeling antsy,” or “impatience.”

I am back from a walk in the rain with the dog, my wet sneakers all squishy.

I had an umbrella in one hand and the leash in the other, and although I thought about making a second loop around the lake, my arm with the umbrella was starting to hurt me. If I had just been running in the rain, it would have been easier because I would have hit a stride, sans umbrella and leash. (Sorry, Maddie.)

Still, I probably would have walked her separately, because although she's not so young that she needs to get a good exercise walk every day, I feel it's my job as a pet owner to take her.

I am at that point in a period of limited exercise when I am feeling antsy. The hernia operation was a week ago Monday; I'm not supposed to do much but walk until I see the doctor again on Dec. 19. I've found myself taking little jogging steps across the kitchen and around the house. I jogged to the car and was about to take off in the supermarket when I thought better of it. When walking the dog, I jogged a few steps along the path.

It's like there is a little "on" switch that I couldn't push all the way to "off."

Yesterday I lifted some weights in my room and did a few stretches not involving my abdominal muscles, but what I really need is to run around.

I know, of course, that it could be way worse and that this is nothing in comparison to big stuff, but the accumulation of little things (teeth, tongue, etc.) definitely adds to the overall wear and tear.

But hey, the fact that I am restless is a sign that I'm feeling better, because a week ago, I wasn't much in the mood for running around at all.

A gift to myself

A friend recently told me that while undergoing chemotherapy for treatment of breast cancer, she had bought herself a present after completing each round.

This sounded like a great idea to me. It doesn't work that well for leukemia, because when you are finished with a round of chemotherapy, you are so depleted that going shopping is the last thing you want to do. I did, however, get a lot of nice gifts when I was in the hospital. And I try to schedule in something fun in connection with my frequent trips to Boston, and sometimes, when I started feeling better, that something fun often involves going shopping.

I thought of my friend's words yesterday when I went to a "brunch and buy" where the theme was hand-made holiday gifts. Everything was beautiful. I thought I would be able to make it out the door cheaply by buying a just a desk calendar with a photograph a month, but then something called me back.

It was a collection of silver watches on bracelets made of beads and big, colorful stones. I tried on one in "my" color, blue. I joked with Bev, the tennis friend who makes the jewelry under the name Big Mouth Beads, that perhaps I owed myself a hernia repair present.

Like the eye surgery that had turned out to be more than I expected, the hernia fix has involved more in the way of continuing pain than I had thought it would. I hadn't taken any oxycodone before driving to Longmeadow for the "brunch and buy," because you aren't supposed to drive under the influence. By the time I left, the site was really hurting, so I was definitely in the mood for something to pick me up.

Hence, the blue and silver watch, my gift to myself on a day when I had thought I was going shopping for other people. Oh well, these things happen.

I liked the way it caught the light on my drive home, helping to keep my mind off the pain. It looks magical.

But there is a problem: I need to think of something else to call it other than my "hernia repair watch." It's too pretty to have such a connotation.

Day after surgery

The hernia repair surgery yesterday went well.

The area is quite painful, so I am back on oxycodone every four hours. I'll probably stay at Diane and David's in Newton through Friday so that Katie can drive me home after class. Then she'll take the bus back to school. Tomorrow I have an appointment with the doctor who did the repair under my eye.

They want you to walk, so yesterday and today I took Diane's arm and went for a walk. It's so balmy here, it was nice to be outside. My legs are a little wobbly, but only mishap was when a fire alarm box jumped out from its spot on a building and hit me on the head as I turned to look at a book Diane had just bought. After a quick examination showed that I was OK, we switched sides so that I'd be away from the buildings.

Back at the house, I had received an e-mail saying the year-end tennis ratings are out. I'd been predicting that as soon as I returned to team tennis, my rating would drop from 3.5 to 3.0. (How's that for confidence?) But since I've won one and lost one, I knew I'd probably stay.

And there it was when I wrote in my USTA number: 3.5.

That made me happy.