Looking forward to the big day

High school graduation, June 9, 2003

Is he thinking about his wedding day?

Six days until Ben's marriage to the lovely Meghan Toumey.

Forgive me while I share with you the song that I have been humming, from the marriage scene in "Fiddler on the Roof."

Is this the little girl I carried?
Is this the little boy at play?

I don't remember growing older
When did they?

When did she get to be a beauty?
When did he grow to be so tall?

Wasn't it yesterday
When they were small?

Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly flow the days
Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers
Blossoming even as we gaze


Like so:

Whether or not they affix a Broadway song to as many occasions as possible, I am certain that all parents ask the same question: Where did the time go?

In addition to the usual, I have a slightly different take on it.

During my first round of chemotherapy in 2003, I was hoping to make it to Ben's high school graduation that June. I did indeed get out. I got dressed up for the day, putting on my favorite scarf over my bald head and applying a little lipstick. I attended that happy occasion, then went back into the hospital for more chemotherapy.

I remember setting goals. Sometimes they were very little, like making it through the next day or the next hour.

In general I was afraid to make plans, but it has gotten easier.

After my last, most difficult hospitalization, I saw a nephrologist (kidney specialist) who scheduled my next appointment for four months down the line. I was surprised, and pleased, that he actually thought I would live that long.

And here I am, looking forward to the big day.