False teeth, here I come

It's not every day that someone talks about desiring false teeth, but that is what it has come to, and after visiting my dentist last week, that is what is on my mind.

Of course in this day when euphemisms have replaced the real name for things, they are not called false teeth, but rather implants, bridges and dentures. But they are not real, so therefore they are false.

Because being on prednisone rules out getting implants, I have been waiting for the day that I can get a bridge. That day came on Thursday, six weeks after my 11th tooth was pulled. My dentist took an impression, went out and came back in and said, "Bad news." Having had a run-in with tongue cancer, those are words that I did not want to hear.

But he was talking about the coverage, or lack of coverage, on the dental insurance policy I purchased in January from AARP. It pays for regular work – up to a total of $1,500 a year – but it will only cover major work like bridges after a year, and even that might be minimal because part of the reimbursement will have been eaten up by regular visits.

He told me to go and decide whether I want to do it now and pay the approximately $3,000 fee or wait six months to get some coverage. Oh, and also, he said, I have three cavities. I asked how that could possibly be when I take very good care of my teeth.

"We've already been through that," he said.

Oh, yes, prednisone again.

"Look," he said. "They're only cavities. That's why I wanted to be a dentist and not a doctor. I don't have to tell anyone they have six months to live."

I shouldn't really complain about this, because I can find the money for the bridge while there are people who have to choose between medicine and rent, between medical care and food.

After I left, I only thought about it briefly. Of course I'm going to do it. I have to chew with my front teeth like a rabbit, and in addition to it being unseemly, this way of chewing can damage my front teeth, and losing them is something I don't even want to think about.