People have different names for the new birthday. Re-birthday sounds fine to me.
I've had enough re-birthdays already. Sept. 18 marked my autologous transplant (using my own stem cells.) I had three re-birthdays on that day. I didn't get past six months with my first two allogenic transplants (10/15/07) and 6/9/08).
This last time (1/30/09) I had a new donor and a new start. I was so worried about the 6-month "jinx," and now I have finally made it to a year. Next week I get all my vaccinations. Woo-hoo! I will send my personal information to my new donor soon. First we will write, and eventually meet. I sent a few anonymous letters to my first donor, thanking him for his generosity. I don't think there's a reason to go further.
I am happy to be here. I have let my guard down a little. I have made so much progress in a year. Time does really help. But the "re-birthday" is complicated after you've relapsed.
There was so much hope, and so many disappointments, and such sickness. I know a little too much about all the things that can go wrong. And as much as being a year out allows me to look ahead more easily, it also sends me looking back with regret.
You gave to find the line between knowing it's normal to have a range of negative feelings. but not dwelling on them. When my father was in his eighties and not feeling well, if you asked him how he felt, he said, "Can't complain."
Last week I needed some blood work at the office of my local doctor. I guess I was complaining. I said that in 2007 I was more than three years out and feeling great, and then, poof, back to square one.
Well, he said, you can't get to three years until you get past one.
Interesting thought. I guess I'm on my way.