Monday, April 6, 2009

Transfusions at the clinic; shopping on the web

Went to the clinic today shouldering some anxiety about what my counts would be. I knew I'd probably need blood and platelets, but it was the white count I was starting to obsess about. What if it had plunged, signaling something bad? With help from Diane, I reasoned through this. I got my blood checked every day in the hospital and I didn't obsess (well, not too much, anyway) about my counts. Just because I was going into a different setting, doesn't mean my results should be bad. Breathe in, breathe out. Think of something else. I did those things and also tried Wendy's suggestion; Every time you have a "bad" thought, soothe yourself by substituting a good one.

I didn't feel well this morning. I was weak and dizzy. My blood pressure turned out to be very low, and when I saw Melissa she said I needed blood and was probably dehydrated. My hematocrit was 22, and my platelets were 2!!!! I got transfused and although I still feel shaky, I think I'm feeling a little better. My white count actually was down a little, to 2.9, but Melissa didn't seem concerned and ordered a shot of Neupogen.

I have been on an internet-buying binge. I don't usually like to order from catalogues or the internet, because I end up sending most of it back. The packages arrive daily, and David announces, "Package for Miss Gordon!" Much of it is piling up in the corner to be returned, but I have kept a few things. I'm not done yet. My cousin Jeanne visited yesterday looking great in a striped T-shirt; she sent me the link and I'm going to order it.

It's a way of showing that I'm alive and that I plan to continue living so I can wear alll this stuff.


susiegb said...

Ha - when I was in hospital in 2007 I used to go eBay shopping! I gave away what I didn't like, but most of the clothes I did like and still wear!

Somehow I read the title of this post as "Transfusions at the shopping centre ... " !! Nightmarish pictures in my head of you stumbling through the shopping centre carpark to get a transfusion - glad that wasn't true! I went to hospital yesterday for IV-IG and my wbc was also down to 2.9, which I wasn't happy about but I guess it fluctuates!

Howard said...

You sound good, Ronni. Of course I can't hear you but the tone...the tempo of how you're writing feels good to this reader. May the new graft gain more traction everyday.


Susan C said...

They don't call it retail therapy for nothin'.

Nelle said...

Having a nice new something will perk you up. The other day my blood pressure dropped, what a miserable feeling. Every now and then it just does that. I did most of my Ebay shopping the past few weeks on Amazon. I have books to get me through the spring and perhaps summer even! Shop on!

Marilyn said...

I think "things done to show we are alive and plan to continue living" would be a great list to compile!

Paula said...

Hope you have your Red Sox shirt/gear on today ! Now you/we will have different "numbers" to watch, and wait for. Go Ronni! Go Sox! One step, one a time. Hopefully you are finding some yummy things to eat & drink, to keep and/or your interest in food. Sending good thoughts your way. Paula

Tim said...

Opening Day for the Red Sox at 4 today. Hope you can catch it!!

pam said...

Dearest Ronni,
although i'm not a baseball fan, Opening Day is a great omen (even if it's not your Mother's Yankees!) --
You are taking those baby steps to prepare for that homeward
-home run!
Our Runner-Warrior-Heroine...
the platelets will increase,
the white count be good,
this all, as you know best, takes time...xop

Nancy said...

I understand the need to shop. Just do it!!! When I was at the City of Hope for 81 days, the annual Nordstrom Anniversary Sale was taking place. That was the only time I got truly bummed that I couldn't go out and shop. Guess my mom was tuned into me, she shopped the sale for me and brought all kinds of goodies to the hospital. She even exchanged items for different sizes and returned those I thought I wouldn't use. My personal shopper mom rocks!!!

I agree with Howard. You sound good Ronni and just the fact that you are interested in shopping is a good sign. Keep healing.

donna said...

Wear those catalogues out, friend. You can do it! Love you!

Susan said...

You look great in clothes so I don't see how you could possibly resist those catalog purchases!

Wendy S. Harpham, MD said...

I hope you'll share what you order, keep, return. It would be fun to know.

I think I've shared this article with you on retail therapy already, but just in case I haven't:

If you feel up to it, check out my news on my blog.
Hugs and hope, Wendy